Saturday 22nd August 2026
Isthmian League Premier Division – Maldon & Tiptree (H) 1-4
Leaving the ground, I received more than a few comments along the lines of, “Good luck
with the match report after that!” As I posted on the Facebook page on Saturday evening
though, “My recyclable pint pot is always half full when it comes to the Tanners” – I think
it’s important to retain a degree of perspective. For instance, that defeat (our first in ten in
the league) was the first since the 2-3 loss to Portchester in late March – we weren’t even
Champions at that point…
The Jammers arrived as Champions themselves, and it’s fair to say they have endured a
sticky start. They were pulped 6-0 on the opening day at Dulwich, and they were berry
fortunate to claim all three points in their next game, beating Aveley 1-0 with a ninety-first
minute winner. They were then pipped 2-1 at home to Dartford. Picking up points in a new
league isn’t easy, even if you have come up as winners. Neither is coming up with so many
awful jam-based-puns…
Ian rotated the squad, some of the decisions influenced by lingering illness/injury concerns.
Bobby was preferred to Louie, and Joe kept his place in the back four (although Cam, who
had been named on the bench last week for appearance’s sake, was a genuine option this
time). Meanwhile, Nathan made his first start of the season.
A pattern for the game emerged early on – the Tanners looked to take the game to their
opponents, while for their part, the visitors looked to break wherever possible, putting their
nippy number seven, Kai Redgrave, in on goal on several occasions. While the Tanners’ neat
approach play presented several half chances, the final ball was generally lacking. This
meant that the first opportunity of substance fell to Redgrave on fourteen minutes. Another
Tanners’ attack having broken down, Samuel Adeyeye lifted the ball into Redgrave’s path,
but Sonny was alert to the danger.
Tanners won a succession of corners, but nothing clear-cut came from any of them. There
was then a half-hearted penalty claim on twenty-four minutes, Marcel being pulled back by
Lenny O’Sullivan in the box. There was plenty of mutual grappling, but the deciding factor
(in the ref’s mind at least) appeared to be that Marcel was already on his way down as he
attempted to turn the number twenty-one. A couple of minutes later, Nathan had a crack at
goal. The shot was full of intent, but it lacked accuracy and highlighted an issue that was to
persist throughout the game – despite enjoying the bulk of possession, and creating an
array of chances, the Tanners didn’t get enough efforts on target.
On the half-hour mark, Sonny made a terrific save. Joe missed his clearing header, and the
ball was suddenly heading goalward after Eze Ebuzoeme collected and shot. Sonny got just
enough on it to slow the pace of the ball, and Bobby did the rest with the clearance. At the
other end, Mark fancied his chances from distance after Dicko had teed him up centrally.
Regrettably, the shot was better suited to Twickenham, the ball sailing high between the
posts but well clear of the crossbar.
Just as I was talking into my Dictaphone, recording a few thoughts to sum up the first half,
the visitors scored. On the funny side, the playback starts with me spitting out yet another
flying ant (is Flying Ant Day not usually much earlier than August?) – alas, the rest is a tale of
woe. Another missed header and the ball fell to Ibby Akanbi. He didn’t get the cleanest
connection, but it was enough to evade Sonny, hit the post and trickle over the line for 0-1
with the last meaningful kick of the first half.
Halftime – Tanners 0, Maldon & Tiptree 1.
The break was brightened by a visit to the club shop to pick up my ¼ zip top, a worthy
addition to any Tanner’s wardrobe. While in there, I also got chatting to Brian Powell. He
was buying my book, which he also asked me to sign (!) I was aware of his dad’s own book,
‘Up The Tanners’, but I hadn’t made the connection – it was a nice moment…
On the subject of ‘nice moments’, I spent some time with Marcel during the week. I’m
running what I hope will be a series of player interviews (‘Bryant’s Bulletin: Extra Time’) for
the matchday programmes, and he was a good sport in agreeing to go first. Despite using it
daily for work, I couldn’t get my personal version of Teams to record or transcribe the
conversation, so I was reliant on my Dictaphone. Sadly, it didn’t pick up clearly the answer
to question one (“When you aren’t out on the pitch laying waste to the opposition, what do
you do for a job?) I précised a ‘safe’ answer, but one that missed the important facts. If
you’re reading Marcel, thanks again for your time, and my apologies for the slip. I’m grateful
for the opportunity to set the record straight, and to provide the full answer as follows – “I
work in a primary school where I teach a class of eight children with high SEN and SEMH
needs. It can be challenging, but it’s incredibly rewarding!”
Dicko made way for Connor as the second half got underway, and the Tanners went in
search of a quick equaliser, Marcel hitting the side netting on forty-eight minutes. A
moment later, the ‘give it to Kai’ tactic almost paid off when a ball went in over the Tanners’
high line, leaving Sonny exposed in a one-on-one situation with the speedy winger. It was
the first of a few such opportunities – I actually stopped worrying about him when he skied
it over the bar for the third time.
Connor got an effort on target on fifty-two minutes, but it lacked power, and that was the
signal to further shake things up from the bench. Harry and Marcel made way for Kofi and
Jacob respectively, and one of those changes paid almost instant dividends. Kofi went
through three defenders on the left as if they simply weren’t there, and squared it for
Nathan. Showing great awareness, he slid the ball into the right channel of the box for Anas
to collect and fire into the bottom corner for the equaliser. On the balance of play and
chances, it was deserved, and I naively assumed this would be the signal for the Tanners to
take over and win by a reasonably comfortable margin…
That was on fifty-four minutes, and my assumption looked to be becoming reality when four
minutes later, Nathan kept going and kept going, bearing down on goal like a man
possessed. It had all the hallmarks of a Nathan classic in the making – however, the shot
when it came, while fierce enough, wasn’t carrying the same levels of accuracy. A flurry of
chances then came in quick succession around the hour mark, Jacob and Bobby drawing
saves of varying difficulty from Elliot Justham, who was now starting to earn his match fee.
Kofi then swept one over the bar when you might have expected him to also test the
keeper; Mark also went close on seventy-minutes, his shot going narrowly past the post.
Ian took this as an opportunity to make his final swap, bringing on Cam for Nathan. This
allowed Joe to move into more comfortable midfield territory while restoring the title-
winning centre back partnership. “Smart move”, I thought. “We’ll keep them quiet back
there, stick to our task up front, and get ourselves a couple of goals and all three points”…
Nope – with seventy-seven minutes played, a routine cross in from the right was knocked
down into the path of Tq Addy, and he lashed it past Sonny to put the visitors back in front…
We’ve seen the Tanners rally to score late goals plenty of times – it was pretty much our
calling card last season, and arguably, the reason we won the league. It didn’t happen today
– our guests sealed the deal on eighty-nine minutes through Chaynie Burgin, whose calm
finish rounded off a neat quick exchange of passes. They didn’t need the gift with which
they were presented on ninety-one minutes, but I’m sure they were as surprised as we were
when Joe inexplicably lobbed it past Sonny in injury time…
Fulltime – Tanners 1, Maldon & Tiptree 4.
So, I guess we now know how Welling felt the other day… Like them, we didn’t play badly as
such – we just failed to take our numerous chances, and we gave up too many at the other
end to players considerably better than we have been facing for the last four years. It
happens. Next up, we’re down by the seaside as we face Eastbourne Borough, ahead of us
in seventh by virtue of ‘E’ coming before ‘L’ in the alphabet. They have exactly the same
record as we do, and they’ve shipped two goals in each of their four games so far. If we take
our shooting boots, we can at the very least be optimistic about getting goals – on today’s
evidence, keeping them out is likely to feature highly on Ian’s mid-week training agenda.
Either way, I’ll be there as the Green Army turns up in its usual numbers. COYT!
