Saturday 25th July 2026
Pre-season Friendly – Ashford Town (Middlesex) (H) 1-1
I’ve been trying to persuade my friend Neil to come to a game for a while. Having been waiting for surgery on his ACL for months, and having finally had the op in March, the man his wife now calls ‘Hoppity’ is sufficiently recovered, and today was the day. Another friend, Brian, then WhatsApped me around lunchtime to ask if I was going (does a bear relieve itself in the greenest and leafiest of nature’s conveniences…?), and so with that, I made my personal contribution to today’s attendance of three hundred and fifty-nine. Spend that twenty quid wisely, Laurence…!
Today’s on-the-pitch visitors, Ashford Town (Middlesex), arrived as last season’s CCL Premier North Champions. Winning their final four games in a row, the final three without conceding, they took the title by a single point. Resplendent in fetching tangerine and white shirts, their ranks include former Love Island ‘bombshell’ contestant Reuben Collins. I’m familiar with the show (in so much as I know that it exists), but that’s as far as my knowledge extends. Apparently, the role of the ‘bombshell’ includes disrupting existing relationships, and there was a fair bit of that in evidence today – neither our midfield or attack quite clicked for large parts of the game, and Mr. Collins had a good game keeping Jacob quiet.
For various reasons, Tanners were without a number of key players for this one, including Anas, who was moving house (he’s also recently become a new dad – some big life changes chez Igozouln right now). Kofi and Marcel were also out, working their way through injuries, and Mark was nowhere to be seen – for me, as they always are when he’s not in the side, his leadership and work rate were a big miss. Charlie was deployed on the left wing, and he acquitted himself well – in fact, I’d have him as my man of the match. Time and time again, he was sought out with long balls played down the line or cross-field, and on several occasions, he nearly made something happen. The missing ingredients were a little more patience with his final ball, or more commonly, a teammate taking a gamble on getting on the end of one. He could also have scored himself early on. With two minutes played, Nathan fed Isaac on the right, and his firm low cross found Charlie at the back post. But for the last-ditch intervention of the Ashford number eight, that would have been 1-0.
Although none of the Tanners’ efforts produced clear-cut chances, most of the early action was at least in and around the Ashford box. Nonetheless, Sonny had to be alert when, on eleven minutes, the visitors mounted their first attack. He did well to rush out of his goal to snuff out the danger. Four minutes later, he was tested again with a shot from range that he palmed upwards and away from goal.
Back at the other end, the definition of ‘friendly’ was being stretched, a hefty challenge leaving Isaac balled up in discomfort around twenty-five yards from goal. Nathan took the resulting free kick. The keeper got to it, but not comfortably, parrying it back into play. A more alert, fully match-fit Tanners team might have made him pay. The same applied when he nearly spilled the ball to Nathan in the twenty-fifth minute, but he managed to gather it at the second attempt.
On thirty-three minutes, Tanners went behind to a moment of individual brilliance. Receiving a square ball just outside the box, the number ten pinged it firm and true into the top corner. I had a perfect view, and I could see it was a goal the moment he struck it. There’s no stopping a shot like that – Sonny didn’t even move. Harry tried to redress the balance with a curling shot from the left side of the box a couple of minutes later, but it was always drifting wide…
With the half winding down, the term ‘friendly’ once again came under scrutiny. Mistiming a sliding tackle, Louie caught the Ashford man with a flick of his foot. The ref sprinted to the scene with a posse of Ashfordians close behind, and for a moment, it looked as if he was going to pull out a red card. The eventual card was yellow, but that was the Ashford man’s last action of the day – he limped off injured. Thereafter, Tanners created a couple of promising situations, but again, despite having managed to get in behind the defence, the final ball was lacking, or there simply wasn’t anyone in the middle to take advantage.
Halftime – Tanners 0, Ashford Town (Middlesex) 1.
Ian Selley changed formation for the second half, and six minutes in, he also introduced George for Niran, and Braiden for Nathan. Braiden has looked very promising in the pre-season minutes he’s had, but he barely had a chance to get going today. Within five minutes of entering the fray, an Ashford clearance hit him squarely in the face at close range and with some force. He was replaced by a trialist wearing number nineteen, and he looked lively, demanding the ball and always trying to move it quickly forward.
Jacob had looked a bit out of sorts in the first half, but by now, he was starting to get more joy. He was winning his headers, and his trademark flick-ons and chest-downs allowed the ball to stick higher up the pitch as the Tanners went in search of their equaliser. There was a bit more ‘fight’ about the whole team, exemplified by Isaac’s winning back of the ball out on the right, before attempting a cross that was charged out for a corner on sixty-two minutes. Harry swung it in, and although Cam has made cleaner connections, his header found the net for 1-1.
Although none of it ultimately came to anything goals-wise, as the half wore on, you could at least see the ‘patterns’ in evidence. Charlie in particular was a constant outlet on the left, with Joe and/or Harry usually involved in the build-up play. Ashford nearly conceded an own goal from one ball in, but without knowing much about it, the keeper just about prevented the ball from hitting the net after the ball cannoned of one his defenders. He then made a telling save shortly afterwards, getting to the ball just before Jacob after another probing low cross from Charlie.
As I’ve already hinted, the term ‘friendly’ was doing some very heavy lifting at times. An Ashford man got himself booked for a late tackle from behind, and for us, Harry ‘took one for the team’, earning a yellow and conceding a free kick when pulling back his man, who was otherwise clear for a run at goal. Curiously, we hadn’t been afforded the same outcome when Charlie was pulled back on the edge of the area when in a far more threatening position a little earlier…
One of ours then nearly cut an Ashford player in half with five minutes to go. Again, plenty of sprinting ref action, and again, a small entourage of tangerine shirts followed, and the yellow card was duly brandished. I thought it was Louie, but he was already in the book, so maybe the first half booking went to Bobby instead…? I really need to sharpen up my powers of observation – it would appear to be integral to the role of Match Reporter. I, for one, can’t wait until the real action starts and the match stats go up on Football Web Pages. In the meantime, thanks for bearing with me…
Neil enjoyed his maiden outing to The Grove – he was even floating the possibility of bringing his son to next week’s match. And so it begins, Neil… Happily, he hadn’t had his fill of me for the day. My better half and I enjoyed a lovely evening with him and his wife, working our way through a 1.5 litre bottle of Le Chouffe, some other fine ales, and a pile of delicious pizzas. I told him it was a shame we couldn’t produce a win for his first game, but we agreed that we’d both had worse days…
Fulltime – Tanners 1, Ashford Town (Middlesex) 1.
The worry will be that we haven’t really built on that Dorking win. On the flipside, as we did last season, we’ve still found a way to create chances and to score goals even when not at our best. On top of that, we haven’t had the full squad available at various times, and we’ve already got a few with injury niggles. No match this Tuesday, so it’s straight on to Walton and Hersham at The Grove next Saturday before the season gets underway at Ramsgate on the eighth. See you there – COYT!
